My birthday went by a couple of weeks back. As is customary these days, several acquaintances pressed a button on Facebook for their mandatory ritualistic post stating that I should “have a great one”. Some were lazier than others and simply wrote ‘HBD” (seriously, you can’t even type in full now?).
After scrolling through 80+ such messages from mostly the ones that have otherwise never bothered to send a personal message on the said social networking platform or my phone, I did what was expected. In a rather mechanical fashion, I started thanking everyone in a manner befitting the channel – by clicking the ‘like” button.
And then I thought to myself – how is this making me wiser? Aren’t you supposed to mature with every additional candle on your life’s cake? What have the last 36 years of rotating around the sun taught me? If anything, I have become even more aloof and reclusive than I was a decade or two back. I have stopped going out as much as I used to even one year ago. And while my so-called online friend list is humongous, the real world circle just seems to shrink every year.
As usually happens in such introspective moods, I picked up my Kindle to lose myself in a better world. I started reading the highly acclaimed book ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’. After a few chapters, it dawned on me that walking in the exact opposite direction to the world wasn’t an anomaly or an act of rebellion. It was in fact a deeper discovery of my inner self.
I have read several books in the past and tend to identify with or live the characters and situations every time. (By the way, there is a scientific theory to back this. Reading helps you lose yourself in a fictional character through a process called experience-taking – “the imaginative process of spontaneously assuming the identity of a character in a narrative and simulating that character’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours, goals, and traits as if they were one’s own.” And it may actually lead to real life changes.)
Being an introvert has always been synonymous with various kinds of negative connotations across all cultures, ages and countries – so much so that societal pressures can even force people to behave like an extrovert in public. But the same person comes home and undresses to reveal his true life. I feel that is a very cruel way to destroy this gift of God.
Thankfully I don’t have to put on a pretence to please others. In fact I hardly even care how and why I am being perceived by the world. If I cannot control their thoughts and actions when I am with them, then why bother with what they will talk about me once I am out of sight?
I genuinely feel a drain of energy when indulging in small customary talk about traffic, weekend, weather or such topics. I can literally see a depletion of my energy reserve in the company of fake people. I wonder if there are any authentic souls left any more? Or are they also saving themselves – just like me?
I understand that deep and spiritual conversations are not everyone’s cup of tea. But does that mean that lunch room discussions have to be about Netflix, Instagram and the latest restaurant in town? I take pride in being eloquent on any topic under the sun. So there should exist a proverbial middle ground where we can meet and talk about politics, satire, books or even current affairs. Alas the more I interact with different types of humans, the greater is the similarity between them. It is a real danger to the human race when popularity is being confused with Facebook likes and friendship is being equated to number of Linkedin connections!
Sure, everyone chooses to have their own avenues for stimulation, and there is nothing wrong with that. Some people like socializing with humans, while others – like me – prefer solace, travel and the company of books. But there is a place where the twain shall meet, and it need not be the godforsaken boring venue that all extroverts perceive it to be. Introverts bring a special kind of charm to this world – something that is visible through the creativity of their words and art.
The way I look at it is a ‘trade off’. Being boisterous and trying to look ‘cool’ may earn you brownie points in the short run. But that is where it ends. When the crowd goes back home and people move on in life, extroverts needs to find new audience to entertain and recharge themselves. Being an extrovert is a very external oriented approach and hence risky for the long term. The rate of recharging is equalled or perhaps surpassed by how quickly you drain! As you can see, this is definitely not a well-hedged strategy.
I, on the other hand, have a BFF in myself as long as it goes. I am in it for the long run and this gives me an emotional anchorage. May be I was standing quietly in the corner when God was contemplating what personality type to allocate to me. Since I would have been lost in my dreamy parallel universe back then as well, he may have just decided to grant me my wish and made me a lifelong introvert!
I will however most definitely be indebted to you for this, my Creator.