Life’s Little Playbook

Regret – it really should have been a four-letter word. At least that way it would have been easier to classify it as a ‘bad word’. Until Elon Musk decides to create a working time machine, all of us are going to harbour some bit of remorse in our souls. Mankind is prone to making mistakes – it is what underlines human nature. Unless you have an IQ matching the typical speeds of a Bugatti Veyron, you wont be able to think on your feet through every damn situation that life throws at you. Which means during the journey of life, there will be several instances which you’d want to go back in time and reverse. Having said that, those mistakes and bad experiences perhaps teach you the most. Interesting conundrum, right?

Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a manual. You learn as you go along. Normal people leave behind their legacy in the form of a will. I choose to do this in my little instruction set, which I call “Life’s Little Playbook”. This is by no means an exhaustive collection of my learnings – it can never be really. But looking at the way age beats memory in life’s race, I think it’s a wise practice to start somewhere and keep adding to this compilation as and when necessary wisdom is acquired.

To tell you honestly, I really struggled with putting together the topmost insights for this post. I was also confused to bring out the best way for this Playbook to be interpreted. So I finally decided to make it an amalgamation of not just my experiences but also a check list of things that I might want to change, if I do get a chance to time travel!

Here is the list of top 35 lessons I have learnt so far – one for each year on Planet E.

1. Pursue a hobby. Any hobby. But follow it through as if your life depends on it. Make it your passion and excel at it. I chose writing, but started on it very late in my life. I wish I would have documented my life on a more regular basis since my early years. The memories you create through words will keep you alive and entertained in your sunset years.

2. Choose your vices cautiously. To be honest, unless you are born a saint, you wont be able to escape vices. But all I urge is to decide which one you want to get addicted to. Yes, there are good and bad choices in that as well. Be in control and never let go of your will power. Drugs and cheating on your partner are strictly off limits though.

3. Excess of everything is bad. Period. This is non-negotiable. Everything in life comes with a fixed capacity, and if you keep filling up the cup – be it sorrow or joy – it will spill over and cause a lot of discomfort. Try out everything in life at least once, indulge if need be. But don’t go overboard.

4. Falling in love during teenage years is not a compulsion, neither does it ‘just happen’. Let hormones not get the better of you, and don’t fall in love like a fool. Romantic relationships can wait, but life wont. You need to focus on education, health and work in the initial years of your life.

5. Invest in relationships and nurture them as you progress in life. Learn to differentiate between acquaintances and true friends. It’s really a quantity vs. quality equation. You will only have as many true friends as you can count on one hand.

6. Exercise regularly. Play a sport. Do it with as much passion as you put in your hobby or work. This is the only time tested way to keep you healthy for the longest possible time.

7. Respect women. Call me old fashioned if you may, but chivalry is the first step to a woman’s heart. It will never go out of fashion, and will never die, no matter what friends or media tell you.

8. True happiness comes from within. It is always an internal feeling. Money can buy you things to make you smile, but that will always be an external thing.

9. You cannot make everyone happy, and neither should that be your goal. Be yourself no matter how weird you are. You are unique in your own way. Be authentic and see how people get attracted to you.

10. Believe in destiny. God has a plan for you but you won’t ever get to read it. You cannot change your destiny, but you can certainly choose a different route to complete the journey. Don’t leave things to chance and work hard to earn your reward.

11. Trust and faith are two words that should be your mantra. Believe in God and he will allocate you your personal Guardian Angel. As long as you aren’t doing grossly illegal things, they will together have your back and hold you when you fall.

12. Be aware of illusions. They present in many forms – perfectionism, multi-tasking, materialistic pleasures etc. The golden rule to remember here is ‘if anything looks too good to be true, it most definitely IS’. Whatever looks attractive will only last for the short term. Long term benefits require a long gestation period as well.

13. Learn to harness your intuition. Everyone has an inner voice, that gut feel which warns you before an oncoming danger. Learn to listen to yours and abide by it. One theory says your inner voice is actually your Guardian Angel guiding you to take the right action.

14. Travel. That is the only way to grow and mature. Forget about acquiring objects that only give you material pleasures. That house or car or new clothes can wait. But if you seek true gratification, invest in experiences. And nothing compares to travel as a teacher.

15. Don’t take life too seriously. Try not to take things personally. Look at life as a 24-hour cycle. No one has seen tomorrow, so you got to live for the moment. Make the most of today because tomorrow will be a new and different day. Everyday!

16. Positivity is the breeding ground of all good things in life. Try to look for the proverbial silver lining in every cloud. Approach all events with optimism and visualize yourself acing and winning. You will see the difference it makes to your existence.

17. Learn to say NO. fair and square. You always have a choice to decline things that you don’t want or the ones that don’t excite you. Being with people who dislike you will sap your energy.

18. Conquer your fear. Take that first step towards something you dislike doing or are afraid of. Trust me, it is ONLY that first step that is difficult. Never be afraid to taking (calculated) risks. Fear is often a good indicator of what we really want and need in our life.

19. Let those whom you love know your feelings loud and clear. Don’t ever be shy in proclaiming your affection and gratitude. You will truly be surprised at the blessings and affection you get back in return.

20. Count your blessings and practice gratitude. Yes, you have to put in hard work to reap its rewards. But don’t forget to thank God daily for keeping you alive and kicking.

21. Karma is not a bitch, instead it is the most misunderstood concept today. Remember that universe is a large mirror. You only get back what you give to the world. So learn to be good to people, if that is what you expect in return. Respect everyone.

22. Never compare your life to anyone else’s. Everyone has their own share of struggles. Infact don’t even compare your present to your past since life is highly dynamic.

23. Get into the habit of saving for a rainy day, and for your retirement from Day 1 of your pay check. There is no other way to say this, but Income (–) Saving should be the amount that you can spend every month. On that note, say no to credit cards and loans (as much as possible).

24. You cannot have everything – be it skills or physical assets. Learn to focus and aspire for a few select things. That way you will learn to value them more as time passes. Everything in life is a trade off.

25. Don’t be afraid to get your point across. Most problems in life compound due to improper or lack of communication. Choose your words, tone and actions wisely.

26. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Set high goals, but don’t punish or kill yourself over it. Celebrate ALL your wins, irrespective of the magnitude of victory.

27. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason. Yes, even the ones we hate or the ones we lose. God has chosen a role for everyone. Sometimes we outgrow friendships, and that’s because our paths were meant to be different. Don’t forget what caused the rift, but its not good to hold grudges too. Unless you let go, you wont be able to create mental space for new memories.

28. Everyone has an aura, a vibe that they give out. You will always feel it when you are in their vicinity. Look for these signs and use them to your advantage.

29. The universe has a way of sending you messages. Keep your senses alert whenever you are outside. Once you master the art of connecting the dots, you will find it is much easier to navigate this world.

30. ‘This too shall pass’. Remember these words, because it is the universal truth. No matter how difficult a situation feels in the heat of the moment, it will go away. Time is a great healer and enabler.

31. Never act when angry, drunk or immediately after waking up. Your mind is outside your control in these situations and you will face severe regret after the effect wears off.

32. Take responsibility for your words and actions. Always think (twice or thrice) before speaking. On that note, always take a stance. It doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong, but you need to ensure you chose a side.

33. Aim to learn a new thing everyday, not necessarily related to your area of work. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. Make learning a part of your daily routine and continue to grow yourself into a better person. Remember that your competition is only with yourself.

34. Let go of your ego. It is the biggest silent killer of relationships.

35. Dream vividly. When awake, conjure up constructive and success driven day dreams. The thoughts you process during the day settle in your subconscious mind and create beautiful dreams when you sleep.