Meet Me Halfway

I have a very nasty habit of leaving things unfinished. Half complete. Just short of a satisfying finish. And whatever-you-may-want-to-call-the-syndrome. 

Probe me and look around. You’ll find several such instances. Unfinished blog articles, stories, half-empty bottles of scotch while I’ve already opened a new one (although I do have a logical explanation on that, but let’s keep that for later), playlists on my iPod which are halfway through, heck, even songs that are sometimes paused midway and left just like that till I realize it some days later.

I would have probably never classified this as a serious syndrome until my maid started frowning more than usual in the mornings while doing the dishes. Or when I started noticing that newspapers for the week were piling up on the table and all were somewhere around Page 10. Those unimaginable number of books with bookmarks near the middle were the next giveaway. Finally my mom joined the club too, when she picked out several half empty (I still call them half filled, the optimist that I’m!) whiskey bottles in my bar. I tried hard to reason that I’m a connoisseur but she wouldn’t buy that argument. 

But the icing on the proverbial cake has to be my (ex) GF whom I left midway during coitus once. I swear it wasn’t intentional. I had taken a break to have a glass of water but somehow forgot to return to bed and instead sat down in the hall to watch that NBA playoff. I only realized something was wrong when I heard weird sounds emanating from the bedroom and subsequent high pitched argument over my absent mindedness. She left me shortly thereafter but never bothered to provide a logical explanation for the same (for the record, I hate that aspect of women during any fight). 

All I remember was that she made insulting analogies about how frustrating it is to have a power cut when you are downloading a movie and you have to start it from the beginning, all over again. And something about the taxi driver who once left her 50 meters from her destination and she had to walk the distance. Till date, I have not understood the connection. I honestly lost her at the word power cut (not because I live in Mumbai, but because I use torrents and can resume any broken download easily). But I later realized the point. With women, you need to start from Ground Zero if the session is interrupted. We men are a different breed. We are forever horny (read: ready) and you can start off from where you left last. But like the central theme of this piece, the mystery remains unsolved. 

Some friend who claims to be an expert at zodiac signs and analyzing personalities says I’m highly creative (being a Cancerian) and such people have a short attention span. I told her that my favorite creature is a Gold fish but she didn’t use that in her analysis. I wonder why. Nonetheless, she did mention that I get bored of things quickly and in the end I would focus on things only if they keep me entertained for an extended duration. I also have the mental filter to weed out the things that my brain perceives as unnecessary. (Note to self – I think that explains why I have 27 tabs open in my browser right now and all scroll bars are midway down the page! And a nice explanation to all those girlfriends who ended the relationship abruptly!) 

Once my boss mentioned this in my performance appraisal too. He detested my habit of starting off great initiatives, building teams for them, garnering the right resources but then not seeing them to completion. I remember returning home that day with the takeaway that my boss appreciates all the initiatives I take at work. However, till date I have not been able to figure out whether it was a problem of semantics, or should I be genuinely concerned that I did not get that ‘well-deserved’ promotion last year? 

I have two explanations in my defense here. First, I feel this is a relatively recent phenomenon of my personality, much like the mid-life crisis. Maybe they are inter-connected too. Who knows! Second, I think as a toddler every kid is low on attention. They constantly seek alternate activities to indulge in while already being occupied with something. So isn’t it good that I’m still in touch with the child in me? 

Now let me get back to that book I’ve been reading since last few weeks. And while I’m at it , let me finish off that half glass of rum and that partially devoured pizza before they too get added to the list too….