The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth

‘Everyone has an evil side. It is the universal theory of balance which ensures that Ying and Yang have to co-exist. Even within the same person. Don’t worry if you get those wicked thoughts so often’

That was the Little Green Devil sitting on my shoulder talking in my left ear.

But as always, the Cherub version of me fluttered his wings and pleaded not to pay heed to his counterpart from Hell. ‘You are a good man. Please use your education and knowledge for the upliftment of the people. This world desperately needs it’

Under usual circumstances, I might have listened to the Angel. But today was an exceptionally harsh day. I had quit my job at the Los Alamos National Laboratory, New Mexico in a fit of rage. This wasn’t entirely unexpected. When your ideas are out of the box but the system (and your boss) wants you to be caged, impulsive decisions happen. But what followed that evening probably shouldn’t have happened.

As I was driving home, I got a call from one of my research subjects. I was slightly perturbed because this was not the right time. But it was not totally unexpected. Given the information age we live in, news travels faster than light. And when you are heading the most important research project for the Department of Homeland Security, you are tracked and monitored 24×7. Not just by your friends who are concerned for you, but by your enemies who are equally interested in your moves.

It was a brief call. But the message was clear. The Martians wanted a spaceship designed and outfitted with relevant stuff that could help them invade and capture Planet Earth. I was a natural choice for their project. After all, I was working on identifying talent for a similar motive – except that USA’s mandate was to colonize and rule Mars.

I was already in discussion with the participants over phone and in person since the last few months. Being the Chief Negotiator, my role was to ensure they come on board and help us assemble the ship. I had put together such a diverse and enviable set of people that at times my alter-ego would tend to feel jealous of my skill set! These were specialists known for their unique flair and ingenuity. Each one of them was an inventor and an innovator, albeit their expertise was as varied as chalk and cheese.

There was a minor hiccup though. Given their strong right-brain personalities, a lot of our earlier team meetings had gone way off the course. Discussions seemed to tend off in realms of creativity. And they used to get so enjoyable that it was difficult to bring it back on the track of work! But as they say, great things in business are not done by one person; they are done by a team of people. And when the total is greater than the sum of parts, magic happens!

Without further ado, I quickly initiated a group chat on the WeChat app on my smartphone.

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Me: Welcome team. I have a quick announcement. We have just got an unlimited budget increment for the project but the deadline is now ASAP. Where do we stand with the prototype?

Neil: Boss the shell is ready, I’m just testing it at different temperatures to make it atmosphere ready

Me: Wait, you mean the most important part is still not done?

Neil: Boss you know my philosophy. Always shoot for the stars but if you happen to miss shoot for the moon instead

Steve: Neil, I feel design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works

Me: That sounds good. So when can we start seeing the interior fit-outs happening?

Homer: I hope you are not pointing at me?? Wait, was I supposed to do real work? I QUIT!

Me: Sigh

Homer: I thought you picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.

Me: Anyway, where are we with the communications protocol?

Steve: My iCockpit is almost ready. Only the maps module remains untested now. I’m waiting for Google to release an update so that I can build it in.

Me: Umm, is there no way you can devise something of your own?

Steve: Well, I can. But then there’s no assurance that it will work. What if we are transported to another planet? Apple Maps are known to be slightly weird!

Homer: Don’t you worry Stevey boy. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

Me: OK. Let me talk to Sergey and Larry. Meanwhile, is the Time Machine Module ready?

Nostradamus: Sir while I appreciate your idea of having me on the team but I don’t understand why you need my skills?

Me: We have gone over this before buddy. We need you to predict their next move and build a preemptive solution

Nostradamus: No offense boss, but all I do is dish out puzzles and coded latin phrases, which by some fluke come true at times. Are you sure you want to do this?

Homer: At least give it a try Nostru. If at first you don’t succeed, just give up.

Neil: I don’t mean to sound harsh but actually science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next 10 years.

Homer: True that! Like I always say, ‘What the heck, if something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing’

Me: And what about our Star – the man who will drive the initiative? Are you there?

Joker: This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them

Me: Eh?

Joker: Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos

Neil: Dude, you OK?

Joker: the only sensible way to live in this world is without rules

Steve: Someone please get a hold on this guy!

Joker: What man? I’m just practising my lines here! You chose me for my natural evil-ness and I’m just polishing that every day!

Me: Guys, I think we are going on a different trajectory as always. Let’s not forget this group is created for better collaboration and not for mad chats

Joker: I’m not mad at all. I’m just differently sane. Because you see, madness is just like gravity. All it takes is a little push!

Me: Ok, Ok. Let’s end this here and get back to work. But before we part, can each one of you summarize your part so that we are all on the same page?

Neil: Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man’s desire to understand

Steve: There is no reason not to follow your heart. Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

Nostradamus: When the exhausted Sun takes up his cycle then my prophecy and threats will be accomplished

Joker: If you’re good at something, never do it for free.

Homer: All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Me: (to myself): Ugh! Not again!

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Characters:

Neil Alden Armstrong was an American astronaut and the first person to walk on the Moon. He was also an aerospace engineer, naval aviator, test pilot, and university professor.

Steven Paul “Steve” Jobs was an American entrepreneur and inventor best known as the co-founder, chairman, and CEO of Apple Inc. He also co-founded and served as Chief Executive of Pixar Animation Studios

Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional main character who appears in the animated television series ‘The Simpsons’ as the patriarch of his weird family. Homer embodies several American working class stereotypes: he is crude, overweight, incompetent, clumsy, lazy, a heavy drinker, and ignorant.

Michel de Nostredame, usually Latinized as Nostradamus, was a French apothecary and reputed seer who published collections of prophecies. He is best known for his book Les Propheties. Nostradamus has attracted a following that, along with much of the popular press, credits him with predicting many major world events.

The Joker is a fictional character portrayed by Heath Ledger in the film The Dark Knight. He is depicted as a psychopathic, mass murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy. Throughout the film, Joker states his desire to upset social order through crime and comes to define himself by his conflict with Batman

P.S. Some of the dialogues used above are based on famous words said by the respective characters themselves. 

(This is my entry for the “WeChat with Anyone, Anywhere!” organized jointly by Indiblogger and WeChat. Check out their Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/WeChatIndia?feature=chclk)